Languages of Love

Last night as I checked into my motel, I was given a magnetic card that would unlock the door of my room. But, when I got to my room, my card refused to communicate to the lock. I walked back to the desk. "Oh," the clerk said, "I must have forgotten to program it." She ran it through the machine to give it a code and I returned to my door again. But the card still couldn't open my door. Again I returned to the front desk. This time another clerk accompanied me back to my room. I'm sure they thought that I was using the card incorrectly. To his surprise...the card DID NOT WORK! Eventually they put me in a different room and returned with a card key that finally worked...because it and the door spoke the same language.

Earlier in the evening as I drove with my younger son, Phil, from TX to IA where he is in college, we were discussing a book The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. The 5 languages are basically reduced to: words, time, gifts, touch and actions/service. Several years ago my husband, Merle, and I took a parenting class where we were introduced to the 5 love languages and were encouraged to prioritize the list personally as well as discover the languages of our spouse and our children. It was one of those great "AHA!" moments in my life when I realized that my list and my husband's were reversed! In class they told us (based on Mr. Chapman's observations) that each person needs to be loved in his or her primary language to "feel" loved. Each person also most often expresses love in that SAME language.

While all the languages are important, a couple will outweigh all the others for each individual...so while "words" tops my husband's list, it fell at the bottom of mine. So, what he needs MOST, I am LEAST likely to express. And while he expresses his love for me in words daily, the words are empty to me without actions/service which is my number one and #5 on his list. Once we realized our different languages, we began to work harder to communicate to each other in the needed language. For years I had thought that no one truly loved me except my parents because they were the only ones who loved me in my primary language.

How many people go through life mistakenly believing that no one loves them because those nearest to them speak a different language? We are such complex creatures, and so needy. I wonder why God didn't give us the ability to instinctively speak all of the languages of love fluently. Birds travel thousands of miles in a migration pattern they've never flown before. Bees can communicate to the rest of the hive exactly how far in which direction to fly to find a source of wildflowers in bloom. But, we as humans, can't even seem to figure out how to say "I love you" to each other in a language that can be understood.

How many children never "FEEL" their parent's love? How many marriages end in divorce because the couple never learns each other's language? How many prisoners are confined because their love needs have never been fulfilled?

Why do so many people doubt God's love? If God is perfect, which He is...He must express love in every language, which he does...He speaks YOUR language...are you listening?

As I come in contact with people today LORD, help me to reach out to them with your love and speak their language. Help me to find the card key that unlocks the door to their hearts.